Alpha Beta Something or Other
by nashie-chan
Summary: AU. Fraternities and sororities are cults, arsenic and lemonade don’t mix, wooing a frosh is hard work, and toga parties are SO last year. Welcome to Nomura Hall, and your first year of college...uh...good luck...[AkuRoku, Zemyx, SoRiKai]


**Alpha Beta Something or Other**

_By Samurai-Nashie_

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it ain't mine. Oh...and there are pairings up the kazoo in here. Just like college, huh?

oOo

Roxas got his first insult on the first day of college.

Two seconds later, he got into his first fistfight.

Ten minutes later, he was sitting in his dorm room, getting lectured about dorm ethics by the resident leader.

The other blond was NOT making a good name for himself in Roxas' book.

"Listen, I'm not even sure I _want_ to know what happened," Cloud was saying, rubbing the bridge of his nose irritably. "But we have zero tolerance for violence in this dorm." Roxas said nothing, just glared miserably at the floor, and wondered if it was too late to switch out of his dorm room. Or out of the dorm. Or preferably out of the college.

Cloud cleared his throat. "Roxas?"

"_What_?"

"There's a meeting for all new freshman at the dorm common room at eight o' clock tonight. It might help you out a little bit..."

"Why didn't _he_ have to come?"

"Because he's a sophomore and should know better," the slim blond said with a sigh, though it obviously sounded as if he knew what he was saying was a lie. "Of course, after last year...never mind. Just be there."

Roxas muttered something that may or may not have been an insult, but Cloud ignored it. He stood up and headed towards the door, pausing only for a moment to say, "You could at least try to get along with him, Roxas. He _is_ your roommate after all."

When Roxas' glare suddenly dropped the temperature in the room a good forty degrees (causing a cold front in hell that left the devil perplexed), Cloud just sighed and left. Why did all the crazy (read: homicidal) freshman always end up in Nomura Hall? Every _single_ freakin' year…hell, last year had been a handful with just Axel and Demyx terrorizing the place, and now…another one?

Cloud decided that he must have really pissed off someone in heaven (namely, everyone).

Back in his dorm, Roxas flopped miserably on the bed, grumbling darkly about stupid dimwitted jerks, poisoned croutons, and annihilation of certain reproductive organs by means of a metal slinky. If this is what college would be like, then he wanted to quit _now_. Screw lifetime priorities, becoming a better person, getting a good job, and all that other random crap his mother had crammed into his brain – a person, _especially_ not a college freshman, should make a reputation for themselves two minutes after arriving on their dorm floor.

"Rooooxaaaaas!!!!"

The door slammed open, and Roxas turned his head to glare at the person who now stood in the doorway, hands on his hips and bright smile on his face. Too-similar eyes sparkled wickedly at him, and Roxas sighed, turning his face back into his pillow. "You beat someone up! On the first day! That's, like, a record for you."

"News travels fast," muttered the blond into the pillow.

Sora grinned and bounced over to sit on the edge of Roxas' bed. "Geez, Rox. What did he do? I heard you threw the first punch. I'm sorry I missed it."

"…aren't you supposed to be the peaceful, innocent one?"

"No, I'm actually the evil twin," Sora said with a cheerful smirk. Then he paused. "I was hanging out in my new room. I thought _my_ roommate was cool, at least. Didn't say much though."

Roxas didn't dare say that next to Sora, everybody was a deaf mute. Instead, he pulled himself up into a sitting position, and idly kicked one of his duffel bags lying on the floor. He definitely was not looking forward to "personalizing" his room – that was what Sora, the sometimes efficient interior decorator, was for. His ever-cheerful twin probably had already completely swept his dorm room into something akin to his room back home – he had come to the dorms loaded down the posters, action figures, curtains, comic books, bedsheets, and a stuffed Moomba named Fredrico Enchilada (a keepsake from their childhood).

Sora was currently poking around the opposite side of the room. "Hey, he has _Keyblade Wars_ Issue #1!" the brunet chirped eagerly. "I've been looking everywhere for this!"

"Whoopty-freakin'-doo."

Sora stopped in the middle of his fanboy dance, and gave his younger twin a frown. "Aw, stop pouting, Roxas. That's one of the reasons people always take advantage of you." He scratched his head. "Well…at least try to…before you try to kill them…or maim them...or cause them to spontaneously combust..."

"I don't try to kill them," Roxas said sullenly, flopping back into his original position on the bed, pulling a pillow over his head, and grumbling about the unfairness of life.

Sora grinned. "Right. Of course." He continued to snoop around.

"Would you stop that?"

"Why? Even if you think he's a jerk, he does have some cool stuff over here…like that guitar thingy...and look at those awesome posters! And hey, check this out!" As if to confirm his point, the cheerful young man waved an issue of _Keyblade Wars_ in his hand. "He has the _entire_ Chain of Memories arc! That was my favorite, and I never did find issue seven!"

Roxas sighed and sat up again, realizing that there would be no rest as long as Sora was in the room. He turned his attention to his duffel bag, and decided that he probably could unpack. It was still early in the day, and, as far as he knew, there was nothing to do really except explore the campus. And he really didn't feel like doing that.

Five minutes into his unpacking (and throwing articles of clothing into random piles on his bed), he pulled out a suspicious looking object. It was a bright blue stuffed chocobo, with a mouthful of felt greens in its mouth. He stared at the stuffed animal for a very long time before turning his glacial blue glare to his twin. "Sora…" he growled.

The brunet grinned, not even looking up from the comic he was reading. "Yeah, Rox?"

"Did you put Ducky in my duffel bag?"

"Uh…yeah." When the blond simply glared more, Sora sighed, and gave him an impish grin. "C'mon, Roxas. I couldn't bring Fredrico Enchilada without Ducky. They've grown up, side by side." He waggled his finger at his brother as the blond opened his mouth to protest. "And don't you dare say we've outgrown them. It's not like we still need them to fall asleep. They just make good decoration."

He would have said more, but for the second time in fifteen minutes, the door slammed open. Roxas turned slightly, half expecting (read: dreading) that that annoying blond - his freakin' _roommate_ - would be in the door, with the same painfully cheerful grin he wore only an hour ago when Roxas had first entered their dorm room.

But unless the blond had shrunk a good seven or eight inches, and darkened his hair and cut into a bob, and for no reason at all, turned unexpectedly female, the person standing in the door was not him.

"So this is the guy who beat Demyx up!"

Sora and Roxas shared looks. Roxas immediately protested, "I didn't –"

"I just had to come see for myself," the girl grinned, bouncing into the room, and flopping down onto the beanbag that lay at the foot of the bed. Her dark brown eyes glittered mischievously. "I can see why. Those two work fast."

"You can see why what? And what two?" Roxas asked irritably. _So, that guy's name is Demyx…not that it matters, that idiot…_

"Oh, nothing," the girl said with a knowing smile, even though her eyes sparkled of a secret that spelled doom in bright neon letters . "I'm just so glad I transferred to Nomura Hall this year. All the good stuff always happens here. Man, last year, they had this crazy toga party here – half the students who live here almost got kicked out when they kidnapped the school mascot and went chocobo streaking – and I swear, I don't think anyone even touched alcohol that night, even though Demyx does have a habit of stretching the truth. I told him if they ever did that again without me, I was so going ninja on their-"

Sora blinked. "Uh…who _are_ you?"

The girl laughed, and then waved her hand eagerly. "The name is Yuffie. I bunk around two doors down with another freshman...I think she said her name was Naminé . And I totally missed the insult and the fight! Just when things were about to get interesting!" She peered at the two boys, and then frowned. "You guys look alike. Cousins? Brothers?"

"Twins," supplied Roxas shortly as he stuffed Ducky back into his duffel bag.

"Cool," Yuffie said, stretching her legs out in front of her before bringing her knees up to her chin. "We've had a lot of siblings here, but never any twins. Even though…you two really don't really look that much alike."

"I'm the cuter one," Sora said with a smile. "And the nicer one. And the cooler one."

Yuffie grinned. "Making the sullen blond over there the reject." Before Roxas could protest, the dark-haired girl leapt to her feet, and bounded across the room to examine Roxas more closely. She leaned forward, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm…this could be interesting…considering Axel..." She suddenly laughed, and straightened up. "Yup, we're definitely going to have fun this year."

And before anyone could stop her, she grabbed Roxas' hand and began to tug him towards the door. "C'mon, you guys. There's someplace I gotta show you! Have you seen the Lounge?" Sora cheered eagerly, and climbed to his feet. Roxas groaned inwardly, and waited grudgingly for the headache that he _knew_ was coming.

Day freakin' one.

He already hated college.

oOo

"That kid's got a mean left hook," Axel teased as he leaned over his friend. "You better be glad it didn't bruise."

Demyx protested immediately, immediately putting the blame on his friend, but the redheaded young man decided to ignore it, grinning instead as he rested a hip against the edge of his desk.

"Please tell me what part of your brain did you use when you thought it would be a good idea to insult your roommate on the first day?" came a quiet voice on the other side of the room, where Axel's roommate, Zexion, was engrossed in reading a brick of book (that was probably some form of elitist Russian literature). Demyx glared at him, and Zexion only raised an eyebrow. "It wasn't the most brilliant of plans."

"I didn't meant to insult him," Demyx said, pouting slightly. "I was just commenting on his height...er...lack of it." He pointed his finger at Axel. "Besides, he was the one who told me to spy on all the new freshman." Axel held up his hands in perfect innocence.

"Sounds like the frosh has a backbone, though," Axel replied, rolling his eyes. "And I did not tell you to spy on him...well, not reall. I mean, don't you remember what happened _last_ year when we tried that?"

Demyx grinned at the memory, and Zexion only muttered something along the lines of what Demyx and Axel's combined IQ might be (it sounded like something much lower than the IQ of a thumbtack).

"How could I forget? Tifa's sorority never did forgive us, did they?"

"Probably because we're still holding some of those pictures."

"You two are idiots." Zexion looked up from his book again. "I thought we agreed that this year you two would actually be on your best behavior, and maybe even learn something. There's a radical concept."

Axel snorted as he ran a hand through crimson spikes, a slow grin forming on his face.

"Day one, Zexion. It's only day one."

oOo

**Author's Note** (9 July 2007): I really don't need another KH fic on my plate, but this plot bunny, like a hyper Chocobo chick, just wouldn't go away, and sat on my bed staring at me while I tried to sleep. I finally gave into its whims and wrote a single chapter for it. Because it's not a planned story, it does seem a little pointless and random, but…the plot bunny was pointless and random, so blame it.

Whether the plot bunny sticks around, we'll see. This might be an interesting story…and there are certainly enough muses lying around on television for me to get random ideas for this. Of course, it now goes under one of the most overused KH fanfic plots ever – the school story. But, since it's college, do I get extra brownie points for that?

Ack, I'm rotting my mind on shonen-ai. Stay in school, and only rot mind on shonen-ai after homework is done. Go, college.

- Nashie


End file.
